Life's Fabric

I didn't perform well academically, it wasn't because I was dull. I was knowledgeable, I just had issues. So, I've lived my life to prove I am actually a really smart guy, in the way I speak, write, act & carry myself. I think I've done quite a great job at that. On to greater things.

I've got a life pattern amongst others on my fabric which I've grown delighted to noticing, with regards to poor academic performance. It is that of

abstaining from narcotics, drugs and alcohol, even in the bare midst of their access, influence and indulgence. When I look at it, I abstained because sobriety were to be my only thread and trait to crutch on in a conflicted journey of self awareness before I even realized it. Sobriety were to keep me in the clutch, balanced. In fact, with sobriety, I was hanging on my last life-thread before I could begin to weave and sew more cords from it. Thankful for the church, the only structure which kept me holding, otherwise I could've lost myself in the satiation from which substance abuse thrives.

I've got a good friend whom I so wish we weren't too different although we harmonize some way; He has achieved quite some substantial goals, a graduate of note. He graduated through weed, cigarettes and alcohol, different strokes for different folks right? And he's looking forward to achieving greater things with a cigarette between his fingers and a bottle of beer in the other hand, I trust things will work out for him as has before. The patterns of his life's fabric are vertical, and horizontal, like that of a basket weave, they crisscross each other over and below and zig-zag at the far ends all the way to the verge, the threads of the hem of his fabric intercross each other forming diamond like shapes, bordering the whole fabric neatly into a design that is depicted in the structure of his life, working cooperatively and uniquely for him, so unique that the thread which depicts the narcotic/alcohol patterns could end at a cross line and not be noticed nor cause any misprint but still will contribute to the imprint on his fabric. The structure of my friend's life, his upbringing, experiences and exposures, priviledges and misfortunes, enables him to be a functional and productive individual in the way he is, even with a cigarette between his fingers and a beer in the other hand, hence his achievements. However, comparatively, I couldn't assume the same for myself. My life's fabric, materials and it's patterns aren't like that of my friend's. A bottle of beer, let alone a stick of cigarette, could of thrown in me in a pit of misery beyond recovery! I couldn't have become academically performative with a blunt between my fingers! Following my friends on an alcohol spree would've hijacked me of the sole sobriety thread I was hanging on which co-joins my fabric and keeps me afloat today, even without achieving certain things they've achieved. My life-fabric's design doesn't have a thread which depicts a cigarette, the thread just couldn't run through or match the whole fabric. In fact unlike that of wool, which is a thin thread, my threads are made of satin material, very slim. You can run a wool thread  or interlace it on satin fabric. So, in this instance a cigarette thread is made of wool, and unlike the wool fabric, if a single cigarette spark inadvertently dropped onto my satin fabric it'd burn right through it creating a small hole and spoiling the fabric. The threads are very small and sensitive, those of wool could resist the burn. My fabric has inclined patterns which curve to the left and to the right and back in a straight line, my threads intertwine or triple braid intermittently at certain points and spread out in three lines to form a fine cord or yarn, the hem of my fabric has inclined threads bordering the entire fabric which depicts the structure by which my life is tailored. 

The greatest lesson I've learned and have embraced is that life is nylon, for some it's cotton, for others it's satin or wool, in this variety of fabrics there is also a variety of designs, cords and patterns. It is as simple as our finger prints, very different cords to them, likewise the fibres beneath our flesh are uniquely designed in cords which suit us. These cords extend to the practical structure of our lives, our appearances, the way we walk and sound, the things we do, it is all harmonized into the beings we are. There is a girl I used to see, her being impacted me so much that she remained in my conscious to this day, there was something about the pace and intervals at which she blinked or turned her head, the words she quickly responded to and those she was slow to, her mere being though incalculable, appealed to me so endearingly, her natural scent signatured her whole form and motion that each time my nose randomly sniffs/catches it's whiff my mood is instantly stimulated as though she were in my presence, it is difficult to explain but that is the fabric of someone's life.

The things which work for others couldn't work for us in the same sequence and/or time, our fabrics aren't interlaced the same. Some are floral, some geometric, some are ditzy, some damask, some are chinoiserie with a raised on-print etc. This is what makes us different, and accepting and understanding that makes the walk of life easier to take.