Astounded.

Something is utterly wrong with people today, you give them their flowers and they throw them at you contemptuous of their thorns. But.. the flower?

Something is wrong with the social media paddled society today, where rationale solely depends on and is ascertained by mob engagement more than it is by personal reception. It is quite astounding how snakebite effective a skewed narrative can influence the mind into an unmeditated choice by whose vehicle everyone wooshes into poisoned avenues solely because one can't afford to lose time thinking and lacking behind on a race of opinions on the subject matter, so one then chooses to take a regiment of it to add their opinion under absolutely no premeditation. Isn't it true what they say lies/evil travel faster than the truth/good? People are quick to believe in and endorse ill natured things. The type of stuff that got a girl's whole father apologizing to a vendor for her mistakes of running with the timeline thrill to what got her cornered and fetched singlehandedly. Why don't you just sit back and swallow a bolt of saliva before you read? To mentally open way for the warm and soft bread you're about to consume in word form. Many a times rushing into other people's opinions in the daring comment section will put you at timed cognitive crossroads, wherewhich negotiating your opinion into a traffic of all others may knock you into an inadvertent occurrence, and you won't see it coming. But there's just too much going on on the timeline to have to think, but this rendered narrative is sensible enough, so off I go with it. Bang! Now your respective father is apologizing on your behalf in front of the whole world and has to hold a whole sermon at church regarding your thoughtlessness and how the devil is in the works. An exceptional example I will continue to use, you see forgiveness is not restoration. I forgive the girl duly, but that doesnt restore what she did and will not stop me from referring to it. So, knowing how echanting and alluring my writings can be, I know you're reading this, so, do not feel unforgiven, although deleting your apology implies that you weren't so sorry, but I am better than that. You apologized and that's squre, we're all good.

Going on. Something is utterly wrong with people today, it is very unfortunate some have to find out the hardway that "actually I was uncouth there", but only when we fetch them. It is also unfortunate that the fetch game is a constant one, one rat doesn't learn from the one which evidently died in a trap, it will still attempt to run over the trap and get snapped on the neck. That is the simplest and most valid analogy of the actuality of human behavior, you'd think it's voluntary but yet we're all just blind to our nature and it's everthesame cycle. I have gathered enough information about someone else and I am ready to re-apply my resources to fetch them, however I keep questioning the worth of this act and if I'll be getting anything substantial out of it besides putting some respect across, and truthfully there is no prize for it, there isn't. Even with the other girl, there wasn't a substantial prize beyond reenacting a respect and flexing my ball point and my social capacity. Furthermore, I was at an all night prayer this past Saturday and the message preached there challenged my Christian walk and my virtue, I was humbled and additionally ashamed of the Christian I am in how I deal with things, the flea-market culture I am so immersed in has turned me into such a rowd, it's survival of the fittest there you know? You can't afford to be polite, especially as a man. During that all night preaching I was inspired to do better and by the pronounced prayers I was challenged to bring glory to God, but to my embarrassment I found myself fallen in the filth of disparaging exchanges fights and threats with people on social media, just a couple hours after the all night prayer. I hate intimidation, do not intimidate me and think I will shrink, let's meet up and settle it fine and squre, that's my stance, I have gathered to many scars in my tenure as a vendor to fold I the face of an online threat. Ngeke sigwajiswe ngabafana abagcwele utshwala esiswini nentuthu es'fubeni, I am an alcohol free and nicotine free guy who is physically fit and active, so don't instill a threat, especially a civil threat. However, I am not proud of how I continue to sway out of my Christian walk tackling people, and for that I remain remorsed-out and continue to aspire to do better. Christianity is a great walk, greater than egos we inflate amongst each other and power muscles we stroke and flex, these are things of the world and soon pass away, but the word of God prevails above all natural and human storms. I have learned to be a human storm from my activist father and my activist neighbors some of which are former parliamentarians and my activist cycling acquantances some of which are politicians, and my general self who is charactered somehow. So, I do not fear civil engagements and their extent, I have drives to clear anyone problematic definitely, it is for that reason I got arrested and aired on news regarding that arrest, I cleared a bigoted law enforcement officer. However my Christian walk continues to inevitably snare such humbling bearings to my conscience. And fetching this person only now lies in the contingency gauge.

Nonetheless, I am astounded by how thorns on a flower's stem can quickly become a concentrated subject above the actual flower, it is as though at all the stem came decapitated of the flower. Time and again I pursue goodness and goodwill amongst people whose weight I respect and/or cherish and hold dear by giving them their flowers, something that doesn't come easy to me actually, and yet find myself slipping the vase onto floors misconstrued. It astounds me how something I had such a good hold of for eight hours, suddenly slips and breaks open at the last hour and a water spillage messes up and dampens the carpeted floor, all of a sudden the undercarpet dust rises and causes an odor which spoils even the endearing smell of the flowers. It is not only conflicting but also embarrassing, it's amazing how quickly a sweet thing can turn bitter! I was really conflicted by the way my flowers for a girl were received, by how many thorns were counted off of them, and how they swole into dryness over a few hours. It's true what they say, a meal of hours is consumed in minutes i.e. it takes time to write something and takes so little to read and condemn it. Actually, unforturnately, little is read about it and much is put to judgement by the opinions of others because something was just too long to read. "Why would you write ten pages about someone Ricky?" Crystal asks me, a question which implies that the weirdness of writing about someone only starts and rises beyond a tweet. People tweet about fumbling an ex or a friend but that's allowable because it's just a tweet, not a long epistle. You'd almost guess her question came from a place of jealousy because she's not worth a heartfelt writing at all, nor a song, or a book. People write books about people, that's how much impact the essence of a human being holds, but you'd have to encounter a writer who holds you dear for your grace to be penned about, if at all you are graceful. 

I am astounded by how my genuine intentions suddenly were dressed in filthy garments. Intentions which came from a place of purity were suddenly translated into a brothel of endangering sexual innuendos and obsessions, yet I wrote from the heart of an eight year old boy who was just sorry for throwing a stone on the roof. It astounds me how something in words can be understood in other form, it's like someone read two things but chose a brothel's rendition of the script, yet there was only one script which was as clear as day, as pure and as fine and as innocent as an eight year old boy's handwriting. Since when was an appreciative writing or that of acknowledgement very obsessive and toxic and dangerous and exhibited predatory signs? How is it possible that someone can be preyed/predated upon by someone a thousand miles away so much that there ought to be police interference and restraining orders as preventative measures? It is actually more hilarious than astounding how much alarm a letter of appreciation and reconciliation can raise just from a propagated narrative. It's as though I've never known the girl at all or what's worse? I'd formerly been a bitter predator of some sort seeking to avenge a past unrequited love. It's as if I am a serial character with criminal records of gender based abuse, whereas the girl is someone who has favored me numerous times, whose actions I felt indebted to appreciate and reconcile, there's not a content in the epistle wherewhich I exhibited intimate yearnings for the girl or predatory intentions to want to meet her, but it has been misconstrued in that manner and I hold absolutely no responsibility of the miscomprehension of people whose chipped and distorted lenses filter the goodness there is the epistle and go and transmit the wrong thing on the basis of insinuations and undertones, to hell! You have no right to insinuate my writings, take what you're given, ska phapha. 

It astounds me how she with the warm impression I formerly had of her misinterpreted such a thing as an attack so much that she wanted my whole blog and all of the works of my writings reported and taken down, she wanted my little business shut down in a space, she intends to take legal action against me such that I get incarcerated, for simply writing about her in good light? how aweful! What has become of the girl who was as understanding and temperant as a blood sister? The least lamentation I would heed to and reconsider my actions and already have was attaching her image on my story although by my pure intention to win her heart again I didn't anticipate it'd get so filthy and odorous, hence the image attachment. I spent my night thinking about spending a stipulated period in a cell for an appreciative epistle, and had quite the chuckle at this menace and the impossibility of it. In your dreams! I hold such a virtuous integrity in my different communities to be arrested for such a heartfelt blog-post whose intentions were solely misconstrued. Harassment, digital violence and misogyny are things you drew from such a blog? This is not you, you just went with people's skewed opinions this time and it's perfectly disgraceful. 

Look, the girl blocked me on all social media platforms without a settlement. We are real people beyond these screens and we seek real communication amongst each other, a digital block means a lot of things and isn't communicative enough to transmit a clear message that one no longer wants anything to do with another. Actually it doesn't even need to get to blocking, a simple text message to say "Look, I do no longer want anything to do with you" can send a sensible guy like myself right away and never look back. I have girls I fell out with who've communicated that it's chaai and I've never seen them or approached them another day in my life. Blocking is not sign enough, especially after your previous gestures. So, I couldn't seek closure as to why someone who favored me so much would abruptly just disconnect, I could only assume the causations but settling on that assumption was not good enough.

So, confident in how humane and mature she is, well were, I wrote to solicit for a reconciliation with her by citing history and acknowledging every bit of her actions towards me and the accompaniment of scandals to gather context, hence the length despised so much. I thought she'd still be humane enough to receive it in good light, afterall she always understood me even when I was totally off. The girl's former gestures were too substantial to compose into a mere tweet, and, many do not receive such favor as far as I am concerned, many are canceled without a single soul genuinely feeling for and reaching them, many aren't even worth a form of popularity so they wouldn't know of popularity perks nor understand the grace and impact which emanates from the hearts of those that root for them. It astounds me that someone can buy a banana beanie and post pictures of herself wearing it but someone cannot sit down to write at length how monumental such an endorsement and support was. Absolutely nobody thinks it is weird for someone to see that I sell bananas, gets out of bed, counts their money and walks to a shop to buy a "it's bananas" beanie to voluntarily support my works? It is weird from a bystander's perspective, however to those it mainly targets it is bighearted energy. My blog is weird to bystanders but I am disappointed to find out that whom I wrote it for also now upholds a bystander's thoughtline. Umuntu yincwadi engafundeki ngempela, ngezake umconfirm. 

On the brighter side of it all, I am indebted to expressing my special thanks to yours truly Thabi Ndlovu for posting my blog-post with such an alarming narrative and emphasizing that it's a "must read" which I interpreted as a compliment. 

This approach really drove blog traffic in ways I couldn't have by myself, actually no local writer has ever had their blog post situated in a fleet of such much traffic in a long time, or emerged as a writer in such manner to be an overnight and day timeline tea, my blog almost crashed! So, I owe Thabi flowers too, sunburnt ones. What a darkening narrative on a good thing! I am putting much work in wiping and clearing the smoke dust that lies three foundations flat on the glass of that epistle, eventually my intention with the writing will be as sparkling clean as the transparent vase which carries the flowers I initially meant to give.

With love.

Also, I write a lot, a have a heap of writings about people and experiences and opinions, this what seems like a blog too long on one person, is a minuscule piece in this life of mine, so chill with all of that unconscientized bullrush. 

With love.