How helping a friend resulted in debt.

It has been such a lo'ong time since I wrote at length, particularly because not all intricacies of life, and business, have to be aired otherwise it then becomes a matter of too many petticoats hanging on the public laundry line, stained ones for that matter, which isn't always a good sight.

A lot has happened, and inherently so, this is life, and it will life, as long as you're daring to live. Nonetheless I wish to write, actually, quite frankly, I failed to honor the discipline to not write this time, and yielded to my ever lasting and pulsating compulsions to write particularly about an encounter which I'm dead sure will at most entice some resonance with what people are going through and be a considerable lesson from which you can draw.

Who would have thought, that a good and dear friend with whom you share an understanding and common life fabrics and break bread with on a daily and laugh like toddlers; would betray you for a woman? The devil really seeps through anything! It's quite fascinating how life goes, and the things that will abruptly wake you up at midnight in utter disbelief of how easily life and people can go sideways at the expense of a good thing. I have since learned first hand that where money is involved, men betray men. You often learn this adage from hearsay, I've had an experience I will delve into in this incredulous epistle.

I've made quite some acquaintances in the city as an active guy, acquaintances I've traded and toiled with acquaintances I've resonated & reasoned with and acquaintances I've gone on long cycle rides with, but none of these could ever measure up to the sentiments I derived from the friendship I developed with my next man here. An academically decorated and skilled man of a noble character who like everyone had a great deal of life's brunts but just hoists this resilient streak about him which keeps his head above water. I've never doubted the man, not once, I admired his tenacity at life regardless of his big losses, he lost a house a car and was swindled a significant amount of money by a relative, he lost opportunities which would've launched him into greener pastures, and yet still possesses surmountable faith and belief in himself regardless! I've never been that close with someone and believed in them, but I now understand that there is no such thing as a good judge of character, umuntu yincwadi engafundeki, ngeke umconfirm'e, uyokuhlamukela emini ilanga likhupha umkhovu. — yisiZulu leso.

We crossed paths in the city in 2023, he was a biker and I was a cyclist who was just about to motorize at the time. As soon as I motorized, my next man vehemently sought me a blockbusting opportunity to deliver takeaways for Kentucky when KFC first introduced deliveries in town that year. We worked together for a bit, knocking off at 10PM, before the superiors of KFC then considered my motorized Mbombela bike too incompetent for the job and their franchise. I departed in understanding with my little pay and just continued on my own path as a traditional Courier Service provider. I never stopped swinging by the team of bikers there at the time to mingle and chat you know, it's one of those relationships I was delighted to have developed with the team, and him, and I just knew I'd soon be a bird of the same feather, just by associating with them.

Time progressed into late 2024 when our acquaintanceship then matured into a solid friendship, he had long lost his deliveries job as a biker and was now a driver. This guy had his ducks in a row and things figured out hey, he was just unfortunate. We would hangout in the city talking about girls and life things, and grab lunch whilst we awaited our seperate orders and requests from our clients, and I always bought lunch for two without an issue you know, there was absolutely no harm in breaking bread, this was a friendship I actually cherished and grabbing two plates came very easy to me, after all it were just dollar meals. I was so invested in the friendship I actually even paid for a procedure he urgently needed done in line with his career, and offered him accommodation for a couple days to bond with his distant talking-stage he'd been planning to marry for the purposes of a spousal visa. If you asked my day ones, they'd tell you Ricky was so strict and principled he'd never offer you a base to clap bums, not in a thousand years, but for him it was a seemingly genuine relationship he was developing and which would potentially launch him into greener pastures you know.

Unfortunately, in December of 2024 my next man was caught up in a desperate place when the car he'd been generating income off of had been taken away on holiday by the owner, which laid him dormant and his streams dry. His life was really at such a bad patch actually, he was homeless for most of the yesteryear sleeping in a friend's stationary car in some City alley, it was really dire for him but he never dwelt on the circumstances upfront so as men we overlooked it all the time. December was quite slow for me too, orders weren't coming in as expected, things were just dragging and I'd just advanced to riding a motor bike and had established a Courier Service brand and expecting an influx of orders, but things were just so snail paced and undeniably daunting. 

One afternoon he implored me to find him a car since I knew a lot of people and had quite a reach on social media. People mistake me for knowing a lot of people when I'm in fact known by a lot of people, there's a difference and I haven't gathered enough persuasion to make them understand that, and that that's not how it works. Being known is just publicity/popularity, but knowing people is a whole different ball game of networking. He was a far much better networker than I, and had reaped well from his advances. He knew people to call when he needed a motorbike or a vehicle, I didn't. Nonetheless I assumed he had come to a dead-end, hence his plea. I was definitely initially hesitant and deflecting about it because I would prefer that if someone needed anything from social media, they ought to post it themselves, I told him that but he was convicted I had a bigger reach and dared me to test the social capital I undermined so much and see what it would beget. And, by mentioning how bad things were for him with the baby mama and also looking forward to a lobola for his new local girlfriend and trying to stabilize and shelter himself, I sympathized and knew I had to help a friend in need.

I would personally never post things which are only a matter of asking a few people like "looking for a room to rent" on my Twitter account or Instagram or Facebook, to me it's like posting "looking for bananas, where can I find them" it's ridiculous, if not banter placed. Some posts only need you to ask a few people, not an entire platform. So, being skeptical about posting in my personal capacity, I told him I would instead fashion it through my business page as a business quest for a vehicle, that way I was positive it would result in flying colors. How naive I was! Probably the dumbest thing I've ever done but I clearly didn't know what I was putting myself into. What should've been a mere search for a car for a buddy and get him to work in his own capacity eventually devolved into business collateral and a liability on my part. As they say "No good deed goes unpunished", big big lesson there!

So, I created and pitched a flier on my business page, to which three of my clients responded, although the other two came through quite later. The first client offered a sweet and neat sedan out of goodwill from how he'd seen me work and the honesty and transparency he'd observed and commended I conduct my business by. He actually thought I was expanding my Courier Services to Shuttle and Chauffeuring services, which technically I was, but I was really just mashing my next man's service portfolio onto my page to help him find his feet. We hadn't really carried a substantial conversation about such a partnership with my next man or formalized and drafted any sort of contract, it was just friendly chatter which had a great potential to develop in that direction, but it wasn't official. Actually, I happen to always find myself in "we should work together" chatter with my best acquaintances and it always never materializes. 

My client wanted $150 per week for the vehicle, which is an amount that was actually ranged and pegged by my next man as a viable figure by judging the car model, he had substantial experience in the transport industry and by his estimations he'd be earning $10 per day from the vehicle after running costs. $10 is very little money to split two ways you see, I knew this because I've traded with people before. So, having my own Courier gig going, I told my next man that I didn't want any proceeds from his work "Ngeke sisenge inkomo sithengisele umphakathi ubisi inkonyane zilamba" and we had a good chuckle when he asked "so uthi mina ngiyinkonyane?" the gag here was that he was older than I. Nonetheless I was just delighted in having successfully secured him a car and really wanted him to generate income for himself, however because I'd used my business' prospects and resources to find the car, I was considering introducing and advertising driving services in my service portfolio on the page but only later when I figured it would benefit my business, for now it was really just for him to find his footing, and then perhaps we'd co-work. The car however came with crumbs of financial strains he alerted me about on his first day of driving, like parking ticket arrears and that it needed new wipers and reflective stickers which traffic police gave him a fuss about, proving that the car had just been laying in the garage. I felt accountable for that when he told me, so I paid them off to alleviate the initial financial strain on him, to be honest things were tight on my side but I selflessly just really felt for him more as a friend, but sometimes kindness is dumb. On the other hand, his local girlfriend filled up his tank, he told me he'd be picking her up from work and driving her home, little did I know it was soon going to be held against me.

We drafted and undersigned a contract and a cash disbursement sheet between him the car owner and myself for the purposes of legal clarity on use of the car; and my next man began his operations. Business was evidently slow but you have to crawl before you walk. He managed to settle my client's $150 nice and clean the first week of January 2025. I have to reiterate that we'd assumed a co-workship with my next man, we didn't have a formal contract of partnership or whatsoever, it was just a friendly match for which we had plans to make business cards and fliers in my business name and I'd advertise driving services on my page, which I'm thankful I was adamant to do and by the grace of God I didn't. It was too soon. I take my time with people. He had his own business cards by which he operated as a self acclaimed and licensed driver, which was fine by me.

On the second week of operation, my motorbike broke down so I returned it to its owner whilst owing them their $150 hiring fee which I'd promised to settle as soon as I'd gathered it. So I defaulted to cycling in the rain carrying out my own Courier Services, I was unbothered because it has been a hard knock life for a while you know, this wasn't new, I just struggled with the fitness I'd lost due to the prolonged lazing on the motorbike. My next man then said to me "How can you cycle in the rain whilst we've got a car Ricky?" Which was good music to my ears, but was never something I would impose on a friend because I sought the car now we must do my things. So we started inter-working, if he didn't have requests we'd carry out my own Courier Services. My Courier fees however weren't pegged/structured nor were they lucrative enough for the car's fuel consumption, so I didn't profit a cent and I wasn't about to review my Courier fees to suit a 1,5L engine because I was temporarily without a motorbike. So for every Courier Service errand I'd put payment into the fuel gauge, I told myself the service should continue regardless of currently not profiting from it. Some days I'd actually be without a single order and he'd come and fetch me home like good friends do and we'd go pick and drop his clients. 

Later that second week, on a gloomy and rainy morning, my next man was having relationship issues with his local girlfriend. He'd suspected her of cheating from the events that transpired between them the previous night. So he was driving on the phone talking to her relative telling them he will stop all plans for lobola if something was not done, and he was brushing her incessant phone calls, he was going through withdrawals actually. He's a shamelessly emotional fella and flares every word in his mouth and gets very irritable, which really pissed me off working with him that morning, it felt like walking on eggshells and stabilizing a little girl with tantrums and triggers. Consequently, he crashed the car against a tree on backing out of a driveway that morning, he blamed negative forces and the universe distracting and being against him. I told him everyone has got problems the world doesn't revolve around him he simply caused an accident, he got very paranoid about losing the car and started to reduce my problems citing that his were bigger than mine, I've never been so pissed, but I remained contained because this situation had to be diffused so we'd find a way forward. He later apologized for his behavior that morning and we moved, I decided later that day that we tell the car owner about the damage and he said he'd first find out from his penal beating uncle how much it'd cost to repair the damage, and we called it a day. 

The following day I cycled to go see him in the city to find out what his uncle had quoted for the damage, and found him running errands with his girlfriend. I got an order as soon as I met them and we carried out my Courier Services with his girlfriend. There was quite the tension and awkward silences in the car and he had a stinking attitude which I wasn't tolerating very much, so I told him to put himself together, which angered him to the point of saying "Don't ever talk to me like that in front of my wife or else we will end this!". You see my problem is I have such a dismally low tolerance for bullshit, and fragile masculinity. I found you a car you crashed the car now you want to emerge like a boss giving me ultimatums in front of your girlfriend? You're joking! We have got a much bigger elephant in the room and impressing your girlfriend by posturing as a big boy here is the least of things to try with me sonny. First of all you don't mix business with women secondly you don't threaten to end a business because of a woman thirdly you're mistaken, dangerously mistaken, and you will soon realize! So, knowing myself, and how rude and arrogant I can grow on a person, I asked him to stop the car so I could hop out, otherwise I would inflict more damage the longer I was in the car kunuke umsunu and he'd crash it again. I since didn't trust the guy's impulses actually, he was actually the type to cause a collision because of his emotions, very sensitive and reactive. So I dropped off and carried out my delivery on foot in the drizzle. I then returned to town after the delivery, where out of my integrity I offered him $10 worth of his fuel money as usual, regardless of what had transpired mid service. He hunched like a little girl and refused my payment, flaming at me. Which was quite amusing to me because I wasn't going to crouch to beg to pay a grown man with a full curtain beard let alone try to reason with him like I was asking a girl out, all because he was in his menses? To hell! So alternatively I spent the money on clearing off my debt with my mechanic, and cycled back home. 

That very night I told him we couldn't work together any further and instructed that he reports the car damage to the owner and return the car. He refused on the basis that I owned the business and I should report to the owner myself and I should collect and return the car myself. So I instructed him to park the car and I'd get another driver to return the car to the owner. So after a cycle race with the boys the next morning, I asked my cyclist partner to escort me to collect the car for me and return it to the car owner. When we arrived to collect the car, my next man refused with the keys on the basis of being the rightful beholder of keys as per the contract. Fine, it occurred to me then that I was dealing with a flip flop, so I said to him he must keep the vehicle parked until I've communicated with the owner, thereafter he'll return the car and surrender the keys. I then asked him if he'd prepared the $150 weekly fee, which he said he'd returned much of to his girlfriend who had invested in fuel and other things in the beginning. I laughed you know because the fuel which he mentioned to be invested by his girlfriend, he was picking and dropping her off from work and home and going on lovey dovey drives all the while. I realized he was a crook.

On the next day, I went to see the owner and told my next man to return the car, which he did and we quarelled right in front of the owner. He was refusing to pay the $150 weekly fee expected of him and the $70 for damages and telling me to go to the police, the car had accumulated $6 worth of ticket fees too. He pulled off a front that the car was hired under my business and he was just an employee and is not liable for any damages any fees and any ticket arrears, he further claimed that I was not paying him a cent whilst he was working for me so I owed him employee compensation. I was utterly mortified in front of my client and quickly apologized for the inconvenience and promised to clear all expenses starting with the $6 parking ticket arrears fee which almost got the car clamped. I didn't know where the remaining $220 would come from, mind you I had a glaring debt of $150 for the motorbike, and had defaulted to the bicycle, where the hell would I get such money? But I knew I had to be accountable and maintain the integrity by which my client knew me in the first place. 

Later that day I went to my next man and had a heated confrontational wrangle which almost gave him a taste of my bitter knuckles, but this guy is a social worker and was recently attached at the Tredgold you see, a fist fight with him wasn't a very bright idea but I was really keen to deal with him flea-market style but figured the legal route would be his best size. He was absolutely stubborn, unaccountable, and the safety-net car he'd been using prior was back from holiday so he was absolutely unbothered, he was falling off a mountain saying all sorts of nonsense about how he was helping me and advancing my business, how he wished I would lose my clients, he was making claims that he'd been working for me for free and I owed him employee compensation, it was just a mess! I knew I had to take the possessed bigot to the small claims court, so I subsequently went and reported the car accident to the T&S dept Drill Hall, where he totally denied having caused any accident or dent on the car, for that reason I couldn't get the sergeant to file a report. Well, although initially discouraging, this was a good development to carry to court. So I collected every one of the officers' names in that charge office so to cite in court that he denied the accident in their presence, to evade traffic offenses he was liable to, and they could attest to that and carry my case forward for small claims with the accompaniment of all the bare evidence which I held. I had pictures of the car before he collected it and pictures of the car when he returned it, and the car owner could also testify in what condition he'd released the car to him and in what condition he received the car when he returned it to him and what he explained had happened. It was a very easy case I'd consulted some people about. After spending another sleepless night, I went and confronted him the next day to find out how much I was owing him for working for me, to weigh what I'd be dealing with in court, to which he then conceded and wanted to talk to the car owner to apologize for the damage he'd caused and pay up the reparations. I got an instant sense of great relief from hearing that, and held my horses. 

He went and talked to the car owner and they agreed on when he'd pay the $70 worth of reparations. As for the $150 weekly fee, he still remained unaccountable on the basis that when I instructed him to park the car he hadn't met that markup, but he had made half of that amount throughout the week which he claimed he had reimbursed to his investor girlfriend, and, he had also purchased some unsolicited magnetic brand logos for my business, which when he handed to me I thought it was a "thank you for coming through for me" friendly gesture, but nothing is ever free with snakes my boi. I didn't want to argue any further and told my client I would cover his $150, and made my way.

After their talk he came to me saying let bygones be bygones, him and my client had talked about working together, that he was okay with working with anyone but he wouldn't want to bypass me and work with my client behind my back, and so considered it was respectful to inform me about that development and asked if it was okay and if I wanted to continue working together. I realized he had a spirit of a child who wakes up absolutely oblivious of and unapologetic about the house they burnt down previously, and told him it was beautiful that he was able to reap a relationship with my client from all of this mess, and I had no problem with them working forward from then on, and acknowledged his respect in alerting me, but, under my regime there is no restoration after such unfounded distasteful and treacherous behavior! You fool me once I can't get fooled again. You don't behave like a lumpen and then get your way.

People think they can mess around, exhaust our goodwill and restore what lied prior to the damage like a walk over. With me, no matter how much I valued you as a friend, you will soon realize that your importance or whatever value I held you highly by is not and will never be bigger than my life's program, I will write you off into extinction! Nobody is above disrespect and you will learn that a friendship can instantly diminish into an abyss of nothingness. There is absolutely no gesture or depth of forgiveness on earth good enough to restore some people's misdemeanors, especially people who are too proud to apologize for bad behavior. Deserting a serious and costly scenario which you caused is very childlike and lacks character, there won't be second chances. 

So I quickly phoned my client and we had a triangle meeting where I enunciated clearly to my next man in front of my client that I was revoking the contract as soon as payments were settled to the last point, and we would never work together again and emphasized that I don't trust him. He didn't get a chance to pursue the business relationship further with my client. It later occurred to me the leeching mindset he possessed and I kept missing it, he'd wanted to upgrade his phone to an iPhone due to better functioning speed which the Indrive app required of a phone for better working. So he'd wanted to get the phone on credit from my client, to pay it off later but thankfully my client didn't give in, it was another debt I was going to pay painfully for. Actually, his mistake was needlessly mentioning to my client that he had bought a new phone with and for his girlfriend from someone else the previous day, to which my client asked him why he didn't come to him knowing that he was also a phone dealer, which killed the deal.

It is interesting and yet unbelievable how helping someone can easily end you up in debt. It is also interesting how people really become their own problems, if you have been swindled by a friend/relative you are most likely to swindle someone, even unintentionally. This was an eye opening experience particularly about assets, never undersign a paper authorizing anyone to use a car which is not yours. This also applies in many other facets of life, never apply for a loan to help anyone. I had a fruitful conversation with another trusted client about this encounter and they disclosed to me how they had wanted to sell a certain inventory to help someone in need and their wife refused and told them not to help people beyond their means. If you've got $10 and someone needed $11, you can't help them. Never sell anything or draw from your savings to help anyone, especially beyond your reach. The car owner said to me never be in a business deal beyond your control Ricky, and for sure.

This experience had me talking to quite a lot of people and opened my eyes far beyond what occurred, I was able to draw so many shape shifting lessons from those I've consulted and discerned. It is by God's grace that these debts are in my point of reach, although such a strain but I'll get through them.

I'm currently bidding off my sole business asset (bicycle) to settle them, and taking a paradigm shift thereafter.